Halifax Floor Hockey League"The Ninja" Finally Shows Himself
Titans 10 Fire 4
This game really meant nothing for the Titans as they were assured top seed heading into the play offs. It was just another chance to put the fear of Titan, the Greek god of big ships that sink when they hit ice bergs, into the opposition heading into the post season.
This game saw a phenomena appear. One not seen much at all this season. The appearance of the ever evassive self proclaimed "NINJA" duh, duh, duh, Duuuuuhhhhhhhh! Yes that's right folks, he slowly crept into this game with a goal in the first...then made his way ever so quietly into the second and struck yet again, throwing those chinese fighting star thingies, and no not pokemon cards, in the form of two assists and goal, giving him 2 and 2 after 2....hhmmmm, could this be all? No said the Ninja, and like a black shadow in the night, the Ninja struck at the very heart of the Fire taking 4 more strikes and holding a guy as team captain Jeff "My Arms Are Too Big To Be A Ninja" Shute carefully placed the last dagger in the very heart of the Fire team to end this massacre.
Fire goalie Pierre "I En" Joyal, had this to say. "I played well up until the lights went out. Once that happened the air got all cold and I could hear light footsteps, but you know couldn't see anything. Small wisps of air could be felt as though someone or something was standing right in my crease, but I just couldn't see him...he was in stealth mode. For that matter so was my team, hey does that mean that they are all Ninjas too...way cool dude...way cool...but that's another story right?"
For those of you who don't already know who this feared self proclaimed "Ninja" is...it is none other than Roger Keat...ugh,
(A scurry of feet can be heard and the papers blow off my desk as i feel a sharp pain in the back of my hand. A shreyukin has pinned my hand to the wall to ensure that I do not reveal the identity of Roger Keating as the Ninja...man this guy is good)
Big things from "Mini" Cooper
Sabres 12 Bulldogs 3
League rookie Dave "Mini" Cooper brought his "A" game tonight as did the rest of the Sabres players as they romped the toothless Bulldogs. Cooper had 2 goals and 4 assists to lead his team to clinching first place in their division. The team in general played a great game and honorable mention goes to Doug "The Pug" Forrest who definitely played the best game of his year to date. Brock "I Wish I Was Married To Jenny" McCarthy played his best game of the year so far picking up a hat trick and an assist as well.
The Dogs just got over worked tonight and Blair "Rockin' Chair" Hammond just could not do the dance well enough to keep his team in it. For the Sabres, this game marked a return to the form that had them beating all comers at the beginning of the year. I called team Captain Tyler "No RE" Morse at home Monday night to get his thoughts on the game. Here is an excerpt from that interview.
Ring, ring...
Morse: Hello?
Concarney: Hey Tyler this is Billy Concarney here just had a few questions about your teams performance tonight
Morse: Dude it's 2;23 in the morning!
Concarney: Oh, is it too early to call?
Morse: You #%^@#&% idiot! I haven't even played this season. I'v been injured, now go away and leave me alone!
Concarney: So would tomorrow be a better time?
Click and then dial tone
Hmm, wonder why he was so upset...
There's a Chill in the Air!
Chill 14 Lynx 5
Another Monday night and you can just fill the Chill in the air. In another show of raw power, the Chill handed the Lynx yet another loss by a whopping 9 goal margin. Not to be out done by the Titans, the Chill notched and league leading 105 goals this season led by super star Mike "The Tall Guy With A Scruffy Beard" Cogdon, who led the league with 54 points, 6 of which came from tonight's game.
Tom "I Tried To Get The" Wynn played another stellar game facing 63 shots, giving him a season total of 433 shots faced for the year.
The Lynx are the bottom dwellers this season but are loaded with great talent. We asked GM Matt "The Punk" Monk his thoughts heading into the post season. "Well we never had the year I expected but there are a lot of great teams out there. We are hoping that we can shock some folks in the playoffs, so you might find me and Kid Rock down at the mess hall again throwing rocks at transformers..."
For those who are confused by this statement, refer to the first season post of the year...I guess my theory may not have been a theory after all!
Black Jack!
Slayers 21 Hackers 10
Whoa nelly what do we have here! The Slayers pumped the gun 21 times and sent Hackers reeling as they amassed the highest offensive game of the year. Relentless was this attack as they kept coming, running up the score against the fill in but brave Sheldon "Conan" O'Brien. Some question the ethics of this move, but others just say it's part of the game.
The Hacker offense was working well and had they had their regular goalie, they may have had a shot at winning this game. Although the Slayers are a well oiled machine right now, they will need to be careful going into the post season. They do have their weaknesses and any team on any night could exploit those weaknesses to take the win.
Some things to note.
Titans won the regular season with 16 points
Chill front man Mike Cogdon led all scorers with 54 points
Slayers Rookie sensation Matt Grove finished second with 50 points
Titans rookie net minder Chris McKinnon had the best GAA with 5.50
Sabres keeper Marty "Candy" Kane had the best save percentage with .867
Lynx Goalie Tom Wynn faced the most shots per game with an average of 48
Lynx veteran Tony Joyce has scored 710 career goals
Richard Wanamaker has played 252 games AND got a hair cut!
So the playoff picture looks like this:
Titans vs Bulldogs
Sabres vs Lynx
Slayers vs Fire
Chill vs Hackers
Any predictions? I have my thoughts, but this is tight this year. Some teams have great offense, others great "D" and a goalie can steal or loose a game on any given night. Try "Trash Talk" and make your predictions for the first round.
This is Billy Concarney saying so long and I have a suggestion, take the thing you can do the best and do it for someone other than yourself. That's how it was meant to be.
Be well!